The Peerless Prognosticator is ON THE AIR!!! -- The Player Breakdown

The Peerless Prognosticator is ON THE AIR!!!

Yes, friends, we’re back with another year or prognosticatory fun, and we start it with a look at where our boys in red are coming from and where they’ll end up. It is the last prognostication you’ll ever need, and no doubt want. So, let’s get to the players…

Nicklas Backstrom

Career Composite (82-game average): 0-0-0, even
Last year: 42 games, 12-28-40, -1 (Brynas IF, SEL)

If this was another era – one without helmets -- he’d be The Swedish Duguay. For now, he’s “not the Minnesota goalie.” Expectations aside, The Peerless thinks he’s not going to start fast. But it’s not where you start, it’s where you end up. And Backstrom is going to be turning heads by April.

Projected: 18-46-64, -2

Matt Bradley

Career composite: 7-12-19, -5
Last year: 57 games, 4-9-13, -5

Ponder this…Bradley was once the William Hanley Trophy winner in the OHL. For those of you unfamiliar with this esteemed prize, it is roughly equivalent to the Lady Byng. We are not making this up.

Projected: 3-10-13, even

Donald Brashear

Career composite: 8-11-19, -7
Last year: 77 games, 4-9-13, -1

As Dan Steinberg notes, Brashear builds houses. He even participates in building at home site, driving nails and cutting boards. We’re betting he doesn’t need a tool for either.

Projected: 3-7-10, +1

Chris Clark

Career composite: 16-15-31, -6
Last year: 74 games, 30-24-54, -10

If you were to order up a hard-nosed hockey player out of Central Casting, chances are you’d find Clark showing up for work, right down to the gaps in his dental architecture.

Projected: 23-24-47, +3

Eric Fehr

Career composite: 2-1-3, +3 (25 games)
Last year: 14 games, 2-1-3, +3

Fehr will start the year on injured reserve. That the Caps actually reported this fact should be brought to the attention of national security authorities.

Projected: upright by the end of the season

Tomas Fleischmann

Career composite: 4-6-10, -13 (43 games)
Last year: 29 games, 4-4-8, -6

One man’s misfortune is another’s opportunity. Fehr’s injury provided an opening for Fleischmann…he skated through it smartly. He was reported to have signed a contract days ago, and it was just reported as a fact on Tuesday. Maybe the contract was injured.

Projected: 14-38-52, even

Boyd Gordon

Career composite: 5-17-22, -2
Last year: 71 games, 7-22-29, +10

“Muffin” might not be the most hockeyesque of nicknames, but really…would you rather his baked-goods nickname be “turnover?”

Projected: 14-24-38, +8

Viktor Kozlov

Career composite: 19-30-49, -2
Last year: 81 games, 25-26-51, +12

Politics has “The Daily Kos”…the Caps would like to have “The Daily Koz,” as in a point a game. Matched with Alexander Ovechkin, that is a possibility.

Projected: 31-43-74, +3

Brooks Laich

Career composite: 8-14-22, -7
Last year: 73 games, 8-10-18, -2

“Brooks Laich” is an anagram for “Silk Coho Bra”. No word on if he has the thing for fish lingerie. In the meantime, he’ll have to make a name on the “CAB” Line (“crash-and-bang”).

Projected: 8-11-19, -2

Michael Nylander

Career composite: 19-43-62, +10
Last year: 79 games, 26-57-83, +12

He set career highs in goals, assists, points, and loop-de-loops last year. It says here that without having to wait for Jagr to give someone else a chance to play with the puck, he will set new career highs in all of those categories this year.

Projected: 28-62-90, +7

Alexander Ovechkin

Career composite: 49-50-99, -9
Last year: 82 games, 46-46-92, -19

Here is your Ovechkin number to ponder. In 163 career games, he scored a goal in 78 of them. That’s a 47.9 percent chance that on any given night he’s going to get at least one goal. Even money? For goal scoring? Without a top-end playmaker? Note to NHL…be afraid, be very afraid.

Projected: 58-52-110, +5

Matt Pettinger

Career composite: 15-12-27, -10
Last year: 64 games, 16-16-32, -13

“Princess Die, You Gravy Sucking Dog” has developed into a mini-goal scorer, and he was third on the team in shooting percentage. But he’s going to be on a checking line. He’s going to have to defend, too.

Projected: 22-20-42, even

Alexander Semin

Career composite: 31-30-61, -6
Last year: 77 games, 38-35-73, -7

His name is an anagram for “relaxed means in.” Words to live by. With a couple of Russians on the team and a couple of guys who can get him the puck, he should be plenty relaxed.

Projected: 41-36-77, even

David Steckel

Career composite: 0-0-0, -1 (12 games)
Last year: 5 games, 0-0-0, -2

Is it me, or does tsn.ca have Matt Bradley where Steckel’s photo should be? Where’s the love? Where’s the respect? Where are we going with this?

Projected: 2-3-5, -4

Brian Sutherby

Career composite: 8-11-19, -9
Last year: 7-10-17, -9

He was making nice progress there with a 14-goal season in 2005-2006. Then…seven last year. His name is an anagram for “babysit her urn.” Hey, forget the urn. Score more, and stop others from scoring more.

Projected: 9-16-25, -2

Steve Eminger

Career composite: 3-15-18, -17
Last year: 68 games, 1-16-17, -14

Ever since he injured a foot in January 2006, his performance has been in free-fall, although he didn’t play badly after New Years last year. He’ll start the year on injured-reserve. Rumor is that it’s the same injury Al Czervik suffered at Bushwood.

Projected: 3-14-17, -2

John Erskine

Career composite: 2-4-6, -21
Last year: 29 games, 1-6-7, -13

A plus-minus in his career composite (that’s “per-82 games”) of three touchdowns is not a comforting number. The Caps are likely to have to pick their spots in terms of what teams he dresses against.

Projected: 1-4-5, -6

Mike Green

Career composite: 3-11-14, -16
Last year: 70 games, 2-10-12, -10

And that two touchdowns and a safety aren’t a whole lot more comforting, but Green is on a different career arc. We expect that number to improve. Maybe he needs more mohawkishness.

Projected: 5-15-20, even

Milan Jurcina

Career composite: 7-9-16, +2
Last year: 70 games, 4-8-12, even

He might have been the Caps’ best defenseman at the end of last year. If he’s the best defenseman this year, that’s probably not a good thing. Let’s just say, “he’ll be better.”

Projected: 6-13-19, +4

Shaone Morrisonn

Career composite: 2-12-14, +8
Last year: 78 games, 3-10-13, +3

Besides being a real Wheel of Fortune payday (can I have an “N,” Pat?), he emerged as the closest thing to a stopper the Caps have had the last couple of years.

Projected: 4-12-16, +8

Brian Pothier

Career composite: 5-23-28, +6
Last Year: 72 games, 3-25-28, -11

Wasn’t exactly Ottawa, was it? Well, you won’t be asked to do everything on every shift on the blue line, either. And maybe folks will learn to pronounce your name right this year, too.

Projected: 5-24-29, +1

Tom Poti

Career composite: 8-27-35, +2
Last year: 78 games, 6-38-44, -1

After spending five-plus seasons in New York (for two different teams), he’s likely to be glad to be in a city that’s, well…sane. We’ll see what that does for his game.

Projected: 8-40-48, +2

Jeff Schultz

Career composite: 0-3-3, +5 (38 games)
Last year: 38 games, 0-3-3, +5

Sarge played pretty good hockey in a few dozen games. He gets grief for not being physical enough, but The Peerless doesn't see a column, "H" (for "hits") next to the "W" and "L" columns, either. If he keeps guys from scoring?...fine by me. I don't really care how.

Projected: 0-7-7, even

Brent Johnson

Career record: 92-80-21, 2.61, .902
Last year: 6-15-7, 3.61, .889

Last year was a step backward from a year that was decent year (despite the won-loss record of 9-12-1). The Caps need quality minutes from Johnson. That description of him at tsn.ca as “settling into backup role nicely” is perhaps not quite the kind of thing one wants to hear in the world of wins and losses.

Projected: 9-8-3, 2.88, .903

Olaf Kolzig

Career totals: 276-272-80, 2.69, .907
Last year: 22-24-6, 3.00, .910

Please…please… just a couple more years, and there might be a Cup at the end of it. This year, Kolzig if the key to the season. More than Ovechkin, more than Semin, more than Nylankozpoti…Kolzig.

Projected: 33-24-5, 2.52, .912

So...that's it. And, as always, if you use these for any cash wagers, seek professional help.